i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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