So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
