I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
