You're so nebulous sometimes
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
