Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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