Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
