I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
