It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
