It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
