do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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