hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
