I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Im part way to drunk.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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