do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
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