Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Pants are for mortals
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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