There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize