even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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