cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
