And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
