the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
