that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
