with your own penis?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
