We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
