I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
