I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
