I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The power of my boobs compel you
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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