She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
This baby is an asshole
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
