dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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