some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
