he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
