i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Green mimosas i think yes
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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