In America we eat man semen.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
