There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
