I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
