I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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