Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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