Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
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