on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
