Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
