If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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