So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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