Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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