lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
