he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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