if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
