Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
