I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
