im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
