Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
whose parrot is this?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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