He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
