Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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