You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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