But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Barsexuality is the new black.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
