Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It was like giving head to a cactus.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
