I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
