so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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