I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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