At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
