For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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