Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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