lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
