O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the day after is always just damage control
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
